有一次，佛陀在憍薩羅國的首都舍衛城遊化，住在城南郊外的祇樹給孤獨園。

那時，舍衛城裡有一位婆羅門居士，他所鍾愛的獨子死了，使他深受打擊，因而丟下工作，茶不思飯不想，常常到他兒子的墳前思念悲泣，幾乎就要崩潰了。

這天，這位婆羅門居士漫無目標地走著，正好來到祇樹給孤獨園，就進去拜見佛陀。 佛陀見他精神萎靡，魂不守舍的樣子，便問他原因。

婆羅門居士將他失去愛子的事，悲傷地向佛陀訴說了。 佛陀聽了，回答婆羅門居士說：

「正是這樣啊，居士！如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣。」 「瞿曇！怎麼這樣說呢？瞿曇！你應當知道，如果有了愛，就有快樂啊！」

佛陀再三地說，婆羅門居士再三地反對，然後不滿地離開了。

婆羅門居士走出祇樹給孤獨園，看到一群人正在路旁賭博，心想：賭博人大多比較聰明，我來請他們評評理。

結果，那群賭博的人都同意婆羅門居士的看法，認為如果有了愛，就有快樂。婆羅門居士聽了很滿意，點頭離去。

這件事，在市井小民的茶餘飯後裡傳開了，還傳進王宮，到了波斯匿王的耳裡。 波斯匿王也質疑佛陀的教說，就去問末利皇后。

末利皇后是虔誠的佛弟子，深知佛法，所以回答大王說： 「是啊，大王！正是這樣啊，大王！如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣。」

「末利！當弟子的，一聽到傳言中老師怎麼說，就附和了。沙門瞿曇是你的老師，所以你就跟著附和。」

「大王！不相信的話，你可以自己去問世尊啊，派人去也可以。」 於是，波斯匿王派一位名叫「那利鴦伽」的婆羅門，去問佛陀。 佛陀告訴那利鴦伽婆羅門說：

「那利鴦伽！我問你，如果有一個人，他的母親去世了，或者父、兄、姊、妹去世了，是不是會哀傷崩潰呢？所以，可見得如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣。

從前，這舍衛城裡有一對恩愛的新婚夫妻，只是不久後，夫家家道中落，為娘家所嫌棄。有一次，妻子回娘家，娘家的人逼她改嫁，丈夫知道了，不願意妻子被奪，結果，丈夫殺了妻子，然後自殺殉情。那利鴦伽！從這件事也可以知道，如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣。」

那利鴦伽婆羅門將佛陀所說的，帶回去稟報波斯匿王，證實了末利皇后的說法。 這時，末利皇后更進一步地為國王作了解說： 「大王！你愛你的兒將毘琉璃嗎？」

「愛啊！」 「大王！如果毘琉璃有個三長兩短，那你會怎樣呢？」 「末利！如果毘琉璃有個三長兩短，我會愁慼、哭泣、憂苦、煩惱、懊悔。」

「大王！所以，有知有見、全然正覺的世尊會說：『如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣。』

大王，同樣的，你的愛臣尸利阿荼、愛女婆夷利、愛妃雨日蓋，或者領土迦尸與憍薩羅有了無常變化，你也會愁慼、哭泣、憂苦、煩惱、懊悔的，由此更可以證明：『如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣。』

大王！你愛我嗎？」 「愛啊！」 「一旦我有個三長兩短的，大王會怎樣？」 「末利！那我一定會愁慼、哭泣、憂苦、煩惱、懊悔。」

「大王！想想這些情況，就不難知道確實是『如果有了愛，就跟著有憂、悲、惱、苦，愁慼、哭泣』了。」

「太精彩了，末利！太不可思議了，末利！世尊智慧的洞察與所見，是多麼地深徹啊！ 來吧！末利！幫我把禮敬前淨身用的水拿來。」

於是，波斯匿王起身，漱口、洗手腳，整理衣服，露出右肩，向佛陀所在的方向合掌行禮，然後三稱「禮敬世尊」。

 On one occasion, the Buddha was in Sravasti, capital of Kosala for traveling and teaching. He was staying in Jeta's Grove of Anathapindada’s Park, located in the south suburb of the city.

At that time, a Brahmin householder in Sravasti lost his beloved only son, it was a severe blow to him, and hence he lost his appetite, stopped working, often went to the graveyard of his son and wept. He almost collapsed.

On this day, the Brahmin householder happened to be wandering into Anathapindada's Park, and then he went to see the Buddha.
Seeing the Brahmin householder was in low spirit and absentminded, the Buddha asked him what was happening.

The Brahmin householder sadly told the Buddha that he had lost his beloved only son.

Upon hearing, the Buddha said: “So it is, householder! If there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and weeping will follow.”

“Gotama! How can you say that? Gotama! You should know happiness and joy are born from those who love and arise from those who love!”

The Buddha repeated what he said, the Brahmin householder repeatedly objected, then he left disappointed.

The Brahmin householder exited from Anathapindada’s Park, saw a group of gamblers who were gambling, he thought: Most gamblers are smarter, I’ll ask them to be the arbitrator.

The gamblers unanimously agreed with the Brahmin householder's viewpoint, considered that if there is love, there is happiness. The Brahmin householder was very satisfied, nodded his head in agreement and left.

The story spread among the commoners through chitchatting, eventually reached the palace into the ears of King Pasenadi of Kosala.

King Pasenadi also had doubt on the Buddha's teaching thus asked Queen Mallika.

Queen Mallika was a devoted Buddhist and was very knowledgeable of the Dharma thus replied to the great king:

“Yes, great king! It is so, great king! If there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and weeping will follow.”

“Mallika! A disciple applauds whatever allegation his teacher has said; Ascetic Gotama is your teacher, therefore no matter what he says you applaud it.”

“Great king, if in doubt, you can ask The World Respected One yourself, or send for someone to ask.”

Hence, King Pasenadi dispatched a Brahmin named Nalijangha to ask the Buddha.

The Buddha told Nalijangha:

“Nalijangha! Let me ask you, if someone whose mother passed away, or his father, brother, younger sister or elder sister passed away, will he be in sorrow and despair? Therefore, if there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and weeping will follow.

Once upon a time, there was a loving newlywed residing in Sravasti. Shortly afterward, poverty struck the husband’s family and was looked down upon by his in-laws. On one occasion, the wife returned home to live with her relatives and was forced to devoice from her husband and to marry with someone who she did not want. Upon learning the situation, the husband did not want to have his wife being taken away; hence, the husband killed his wife then committed suicide. Najiljangha! One should know from this incident that if there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and weeping will follow.

Brahmin Najiljangha reported to King Pasenadi what the Buddha had said which proofed the sayings of Queen Malliaka.

At this time Queen Malliaka further explained to the king:

“Great king! Do you love your son General Vidudabha?”
“I do!”

“Great king! What would you do if Vidudabha should encountered unexpected misfortune?”

“Malliaka! If Vidudabha should encountered unexpected misfortune, I would sorrow, weep, lament, be troubled and regretful.”

“Hence, the World Respected One who knows and sees, accomplished and fully enlightened said: “If there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, suffering, grief and weeping will follow.”

Great king, similarly, if change and alteration were to take place in your beloved official Siriattu, beloved Princess Vajiri, beloved Queen Vasabha or happen in Kasi and Kosala you would sorrow, weep, lament, be troubled and regretful; hence further proofed “If there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, suffering, grief and weeping will follow.”

Great king! Do you love me?”
“I do!”

“If I should encountered unexpected misfortune, what would happen to the great king?”

“Malliaka! I will be sorrow, weeping, lamentation, troubled and regret.”

“Great king, imaging these situations, it is not difficult to know that it is indeed “If there is love; sorrow, lamentation, pain, suffering, grief and weeping will follow.”

“It is wonderful, Malliaka! It is marvelous! How far The World Respected One penetrates with wisdom and sees with wisdom!

Come, Malliaka! Give me the absolute water before my saluting to the Buddha.”

Hence, King Pasenadi rose from his seat to wash his hands, feet and clean his mouth. He arranged his upper robe on one shoulder, extended his hands in reverential salutation towards the direction of the Buddha then repeated three times saying “Honor to The World Respected One.”

一、本則故事取材自《中阿含第二一六愛生經》、《中部第八七愛生經》、《增壹阿含第一三品第三經》。

二、愛，依所愛的對象，可分為對自己的「自體愛」，以及對自身之外的「境界愛」。其中，「自體愛」是由「自我感」的我見、我執所推動，而「境界愛」則是「自我感」所延伸的「我所」類。一般所說的愛，如故事中所舉的例子，都屬於「境界愛」的「我所愛」，相對於「自體愛」的深潛難察，這是比較粗顯易覺的。

三、不論是對「自體」的「我愛」，亦或對「境界」的「我所愛」，兩者都與「自我」緊密關連著，不離「主宰」、「控制」的特性，所以，一旦所愛的對象發生變化，痛苦就跟著來了。

四、佛陀未出家前，有著宮廷優渥的生活，不會沒有愛的暫時滿足之愉悅經驗，但是，佛陀更深徹地洞察了愛的主宰本質，以及諸行無常的真理，而說有愛就有痛苦。

五、故事末後，《中阿含第二一六愛生經》說，波斯匿王歸依了佛、法、僧伽，這與《中部第八七愛生經》、《增壹阿含第一三品第三經》所說不同。若從印順法師在《以佛法研究佛法》中的舉證，瞭解到波斯匿王對佛法「其實是信心微薄」的（第七○頁），因而對波斯匿王的歸依三寶之說保留，而採用了《中部第八七愛生經》的說法。

六、在佛化家庭中，夫妻間不妨可以像末利皇后一樣，互相提醒「萬一我有個三長兩短時」，也是一種不錯的關照與心理準備。  

1. This story was derived from Madhyamagama 216th Sutra; Majjhima-nikaya 87th Sutra; and Ekottarikagama 3dr Sutra, Chapter 13.

2. Love, depend upon the object of affection, could be divided into “Attachment to a self essence” which towards oneself and “Attachment to the things around oneself” which towards other objects. Between them, the “Attachment to a self essence” is perpetuated by the self-view and self-attachment of one’s “ego”; and “Attachment to the things around oneself” is the extension of the “The possession of the self” through the “ego”. General speaking, love, as illustrated in the story belongs to the love of “The possession of the self”. Contrary to the profound “Attachment to a self essence”, it is relatively simple and can be readily detectable.

3. Regardless toward the “self” of “self-love” or toward the “spheres” of “The possession of the self”, they both are closely linked to the “ego” which bears the characteristics of “domination” and “control”. Hence, once something unexpected happen to the object of love, suffering follows.

4. Prior to his becoming a monastic, the Buddha was having a comfortable life in the palace; it would be hard to imagine that he had no experience in the joy generated by temporally satisfaction of love. However, the Buddha had gained profound insight into the dominating nature of love, and the truth of all things is impermanent; hence said, “love stands for suffering”.

5. At the end of the story, text in Madhyamagama 216th Sutra indicated that King Pasenadi took refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. This was inconsistent with Majjhima-nikaya 87th Sutra; and Ekottarikagama 3dr Sutra, Chapter 13. Referring to the evidences cited in the Venerable Yin Shun’s book “Employing Buddha Dharma to Study Buddha Dharma”, one would realize that King Pasenadi’s “Faith toward the Dharma was mere marginal” (See p.70), thus one would have reservation on the saying of “King Pasenade took refuge in the Three Jewels” and adopt the wordings in Majjhima-nikaya 87th Sutra.

6. In a Buddhist family, the spouses could take note from Queen Mallika, and remind each other “In case something unexpected happen to me.” which might serve as a good reminder and mindset.